shivers of rage

I found out from my psychiatrist's secretary today that he can't "guarantee" I can see my doc again until I resolve a bill from his office.

I told him that his customer service sucks because when I called for my prescription refill earlier in the day we discussed the bill; however, I received no warning that I wouldn't be able to see my doctor.

This man has been consistently unhelpful and unfriendly. I'm tired of dealing with his bullshit and I am so happy that I will never have to go back to that office. I have a new doc I'm going to see soon.

When I called my health insurance company to discuss the bill they informed me that I owed the doctor money because she was "out of the network". The psychiatrist's office had allowed their contract with my insurance company to expire. I asked if there was anything I could do to facilitate the contact being completed. This is because my doctor's secretary had claimed during our previous conversation that my insurance company told him there was no need for a network contract.

I asked if I could request that a copy of the contract be sent to my doctor directly. I explained that I was having communication difficulty with the doctor's secretary. I hoped that sending it directly to the doctor would be more fruitful.

The insurance lady said there was nothing I could do.

Here's how the rest of our conversation went down:

Me: I'm concerned that if there's an emergency I won't be able to see my doctor.

Insurance drone: If you have an emergency you wouldn't go to your doctor you would go to the hospital.

Me: Actually, if I had an emergency I would see this doctor.

At this point small shivers of rage were coursing through my body.

I had no control. And clearly this woman thought that all medical emergencies could be resolved with a trip to the ER. I wanted to scream and crush something simultaneously.

I said thank you to the insurance drone and ended the call.

Whenever I endure such a horribly bureaucratic and dehumanizing experience I am always reminded in particular of two works of art.

1. The Castle by Franz Kafka
Here's a succinct summary from Wikipedia:
The Castle is about alienation, bureaucracy, the seemingly endless frustrations of man's attempts to stand against the system, and the futile and hopeless pursuit of an unobtainable goal.

2. Brazil - directed by Terry Gilliam
Brazil is the stuff my worst nightmares are made of. The futility and powerlessness in Brazil is much more terrifying than the blood and guts of a horror movie.

Here's the first 10 minutes of the movie.

It helps me to think about Brazil and The Castle when I'm battling doctors and insurance companies because it helps me remember that the individual people I deal with are generally not the problem. The terrible confusion and powerlessness that I experience is the result of a health care system that is antiquated, nonsensical and at best absurd.