Today I felt my depressive/hopeless obsessive thoughts gaining momentum. And all I could hear in my head were these lyrics:
"Chemicals, don't strangle my pen
Chemicals, don't make me sick again
I'm always so dubious of your intent
like I can't afford to replace what you've spent"
When I listen to the of Montreal song "Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse" I can empathize with someone yearning for their fucked up brain chemicals to balance out.
All of my emotions seem to be at the surface, I've been choking back intense sadness today that has no tangible or event-related cause.
Here's a few more lines that really hit home for me:
"I'm in a crisis, I need help
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again"
I can't say how many times I have prayed over and over and over that something in my brain would change and suddenly I'd feel better.
Check out the song/video:
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