I made an off switch for my brain

started to feel myself smiling and joking genuinely today rather than just faking it so others don't suspect I'm depressed.

I was even laughing with friends regarding how irritable and snappy I was all last week.

now I'm home and I'm suddenly reminded that I haven't accomplished nearly enough yet.

I'm searching for dream jobs for English majors for some inspiration. Shouldn't I be in graduate school for who knows what? I need a new challenge, I can feel my brain yearning to process and understand complex processes.

I hate being home sometimes because it reminds me of all the places I think I should be.

my boyfriend doesn't understand how I can be so well adjusted at work and so miserable at home. I've never been abused at work before, I've never had anyone tell me I was doing everything wrong or that what I was feeling was invalid. However, I have had all of those things happen to me at home over and over. I love my apartment, I love my boyfriend. But returning to a total lack of structure in a situation that reminds me of my past anxiety and pain makes it really hard to just unwind. Hence the self medication.

There's no off switch for my brain so I made one.