I got home from work today and noticed a completely empty Seroquel XR bottle. I tried to pick some up at the pharmacy yesterday because I was down to one pill but they said my doc hadn't requested a refill yet.
I couldn't find my phone all day so when I realized I might not have Seroquel tonight I immediately panicked. I ran around everywhere flipping cushions and looking under couches but I couldn't find it anywhere!
I tried to instant message my bf at work to see if I could use his phone or ifnhe could call the doc for me. He didn't respond,I think because the connection wasn't working, and that made me super scared and really goddamn pissed off.
I had to drive back to work to use my bf's phone to call, the pharmacy. I'm lucky I didn't kill anyone the drive over because I was full of fury.
How can one pill have such a profound impact on the quality of my life??
I was terrified because I literally cannot sleep without it. I will have the ability to pass out but I will then wake up every hour or so feeling oddly alert.
I am so sad that I can't live a normal life without pills. It doesn't bother me too much until I reflect upon how insane I would be without them. I know I should be grateful he meds exist but the pharmaceutical upkeep is EXTREMELY difficult. My prescriptions ans doses are ALWAYS changing.I try really hard to keep up but sometimes I have days when I'm staring down the possibility of not sleeping all night.
Please brain, can't you regulate yourself? I'm tired of the endless battle. I thought I was doing better from my depressive episode these last few weeks but this has really triggered a feeling of hopelessness. There is no cure for what I have, there is only delaying the inevitable melt down.
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