the pit & the pendulum of mood swings

my moods swing so fast I'm pinned to the ground, from rage and despair to reckless joy. Today the arc of the pendulum is a bit more restricted - I'm moving from weepy irritation to a kind of content focus.

Death and endless energy in tandem.

My brain chemicals are the pendulum and I am helpless as I feel the chemical change swish back and forth until I'm sure I can't survive.

I loved to read Edgar Allen Poe's short story "the pit and the pendulum" as a child. And I can certainly relate to the method of torture. Never knowing when the pain will finally hit and I will be torn apart.