depression logic must not kick in. This is me feeling downtrodden and uninspired by my job. I'm dragging my carcass home up a hill and every step seems like an absurd waste of effort. I must keep moving.
have you ever cried inside your chest? I do it when I'm holding down tears. The welling up of sadness makes a great strain on my breast plate and ribcage.
I am not having an episode. Everyone has shitty days but I'm trying really hard not to accept the sadness that's inside me pressing to come out.
I read that it helps bipolar people to know that changes in mood are to be expected, a change jn feeling doesn't necessarily lead to despair or mania or manic despair.
But I feel so hopeless that I won't find my dream. I want to spend my life doing something that I find meaningful and makes me happy.
I'm such a spoiled brat for pining for more - I am thankful to have a paycheck at all.
lost. Lost. Lost.
My professors all told me to go to graduate school. I can barely afford the loan payments for my bachelor's degree.
I want to always be excelling, progressing, growing. But I'm goddamn stifled and unsure of where to find inspiration.
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